Valentine’s Day is a special day when we express our love and affection to our romantic partner. To make things a little creative this year, I’ve rounded up 20 of the funniest quotes about that romantic day.
- “Love is a grave mental disease.” – Plato
- “My boyfriend and I broke up. He wanted to get married and I didn’t want him to.” – Rita Rudner
- “Honesty is the key to a relationship. If you can fake that, you’re in.” – Richard Jeni
- “Valentine’s Day money-saving tip: Break up on February 13th, get back together on the 15th.” – David Letterman
- “I wasn’t kissing her, I was whispering in her mouth.” – Chico Marx
- “Love is like an hourglass, with the heart filling up as the brain empties.” – Jules Renard
- “If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?” – Author unknown
- “Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love.” – Albert Einstein
- “A kiss is a lovely trick designed by nature to stop speech when words become superfluous.” – Ingrid Bergman
- “I require only three things of a man. He must be handsome, ruthless and stupid.” – Dorothy Parker
- “One should always be in love. That is the reason one should never marry.” – Oscar Wilde
- “Oh here’s an idea: let’s make pictures of our internal organs and give them to other people we love on Valentine’s Day. That’s not weird at all.” – Jimmy Fallon
- “Love is an electric blanket with somebody else in control of the switch.” – Cathy Carlyle
- “Valentine’s Day is when a lot of married men are reminded what a poor shot Cupid really is.” – Author unknown
- “I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.” – Rita Rudner
- “Love is the thing that enables a woman to sing while she mops up the floor after her husband has walked across it in his barn boots.” – Hoosier Farmer
- “My girlfriend told me that she was seeing another man. I told her to rub her eyes.” – Emo Philips
- “Always get married in the morning. That way, if it doesn’t work out, you haven’t wasted the whole day.” – Mickey Rooney
- “It is impossible to love and to be wise.” – Francis Bacon
- “Today is Valentine’s Day – or, as men like to call it, Extortion Day!” – Jay Leno