20 Funny Valentine’s Day Quotes For Couples Who Like To Laugh

you & me with purple heart

Valentine’s Day is a special day when we express our love and affection to our romantic partner. To make things a little creative this year, I’ve rounded up 20 of the funniest quotes about that romantic day.

  1. “Love is a grave mental disease.” – Plato
  2. “My boyfriend and I broke up. He wanted to get married and I didn’t want him to.” – Rita Rudner
  3. “Honesty is the key to a relationship. If you can fake that, you’re in.” – Richard Jeni
  4. “Valentine’s Day money-saving tip: Break up on February 13th, get back together on the 15th.” – David Letterman
  5. “I wasn’t kissing her, I was whispering in her mouth.” – Chico Marx
  6. “Love is like an hourglass, with the heart filling up as the brain empties.” – Jules Renard
  7. “If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?” – Author unknown
  8. “Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love.” – Albert Einstein
  9. “A kiss is a lovely trick designed by nature to stop speech when words become superfluous.” – Ingrid Bergman
  10. “I require only three things of a man. He must be handsome, ruthless and stupid.” – Dorothy Parker
  11. “One should always be in love. That is the reason one should never marry.” – Oscar Wilde
  12. “Oh here’s an idea: let’s make pictures of our internal organs and give them to other people we love on Valentine’s Day. That’s not weird at all.” – Jimmy Fallon
  13. “Love is an electric blanket with somebody else in control of the switch.” – Cathy Carlyle
  14. “Valentine’s Day is when a lot of married men are reminded what a poor shot Cupid really is.” – Author unknown
  15. “I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.” – Rita Rudner
  16. “Love is the thing that enables a woman to sing while she mops up the floor after her husband has walked across it in his barn boots.” – Hoosier Farmer
  17. “My girlfriend told me that she was seeing another man. I told her to rub her eyes.” – Emo Philips
  18. “Always get married in the morning. That way, if it doesn’t work out, you haven’t wasted the whole day.” – Mickey Rooney
  19. “It is impossible to love and to be wise.” – Francis Bacon
  20. “Today is Valentine’s Day – or, as men like to call it, Extortion Day!” – Jay Leno

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